Healing a Marriage After Cheating

First Steps

Cheating in a marriage can have a considerable impact on the relationship. Whether the affair was casual or emotional, it will almost always negatively alter how your partner feels about you. If your marriage has survived infidelity, but something is still off — you may need to intentionally repair it after cheating. This article will dive into five ways to do so for your marriage’s sake.

5 Ways To Repair Your Marriage After Cheating:

1. Carefully Consider What You Want the Future of Your Marriage to Be

One of the most important places to start to repair your relationship after infidelity is simply taking the time to think about what you want going forward, regardless of whether you want to fully forgive or make the marriage work.

It’s not uncommon for the person who was cheated on to shut down and give up on the marriage completely. Equally likely, the cheater may be so blinded by their own shame that they are unwilling to work on the relationship moving forward. In either of these situations, it’s up to you to decide what you want and start taking steps towards it.

Forgiving someone isn’t as simple as talking about it or letting time pass. It’s a conscious choice you make, a decision you come to about your own future — and that requires some time to process everything. Even if the cheater makes it clear they don’t deserve it, your marriage still deserves your hard work and consideration.

If you find yourself still unsure of whether or not you want to stay married after cheating, consider seeking the help of a professional counselor who can help guide you through this period.

2. Start Communicating in a Way That Leaves No Room for Guessing

A relationship that has been through infidelity will always have to deal with the fact that one partner was in some way living outside of the other’s trust. In order to rebuild trust — or simply to be close again — you and your spouse will need to communicate well together.

Communication after cheating isn’t something you can just hope happens on its own. You need to intentionally work at good communication after cheating in order for it to happen well.

Communication should involve a lot of work and a lot of cooperation. The more you work together to repair this relationship and return the parts of it that have been damaged, the easier communication after cheating will be.

3. Always Start With Understanding Why Something Happened Rather Than Judging Your Spouse for It

Whether you’re trying to make things better or whether you’re trying to move on from an affair, one thing that can seriously harm trust is how your spouse acted while cheating on you.

Forgiving someone is a big decision, but it’s an even bigger one to be able to trust them again.

For cheating spouses, it can be easy to feel like you need your partner’s forgiveness just as much as they need yours. However, in order for your marriage to truly heal from this event and move forward successfully, it is best if you are the first person who takes responsibility for the affair.

4. Take the Time to Heal From the Affair Rather Than Moving On

If your spouse cheated on you, it was a major blow, but it’s important you don’t try to jump right back into life as usual. In addition to having an affair, your spouse probably spent a lot of time actively avoiding you and rewriting their own relationship history with you.

It’s up to both of you to make some time for healing after cheating before moving forward.

5. Make Your Marriage a Priority

Many couples find themselves in marriages that have suffered a major blow after infidelity. When you weigh the amount of work it will take to repair your marriage, it can be easy to feel like you just aren’t ready.

However, as stated before, people who have been through infidelity should make the conscious choice to devote as much time and energy needed to heal and move forward in a healthy and positive manner.

Your marriage is the very foundation of your family life, and it should be given the time and energy it needs to heal and move forward. In the end, you will be able to repair your marriage after cheating, but only if you choose to devote yourself to the effort.

It’s a challenging endeavor for anyone, but it will be worth it to see two people in love work together towards a better future.

What Are My Next Steps?

It’s essential to take the time to heal from this betrayal and work towards a future together.

If you feel your relationship is on the verge of falling apart, consider seeking the help of a professional counselor.

At Washington Psychological Wellness, we have therapists who are specialized in treating marriage issues. Our qualified mental health professionals can help people deal with infidelity and how to heal past it.